My grandmother lives with me in my two bedroom apartment, along with my 14 y.o. daughter. CAN I JUST SAY WHAT A FREAKING WORKOUT?! My grandmother is very demanding and feels entitled. What I mean by that is she is forever calling my daughter to get her something to drink or something to eat. I mean since when did she become an invalid? She can walk, she can cook, she can even drive, but she is afraid to live alone now. It has been a BIG adjustment for my daughter because it is in combination with my illness. But what can I do, say "no granny you can't live with me!" Umm I don't think so. Even though I think it everyday. I am looking for a bigger place so we can all at least have our own rooms to retreat to, to get away from it all and each other. But that ain't happening until the end of June.
So this weekend my daughter and I are both going on a retreat! Not together, but a retreat from the screaming and the guilt trips. I am going to beautiful New Mexico and my daughter is going on a Caribbean adventure with my parents. I feel guilty for the excitement that she and I both feel. The first thing we felt is relief to be away from Granny, even for 4 days! That is plenty. But as I get ready for my trip, the guilt has set in heavily. She will be alone for 3 nights. What if something happens? I am going home to cook so she will have food to eat while we are away. But the guilt is still eating at me. Why do I have such guilty feelings? Don't I deserve to feel a little happiness, even if it is just for 3 nights? Why do I allow her to make me feel the way I do? Is that just a grandmother thing?
Well I am just going to have to get over it because I am going to RETREAT and have a good time doing it.
Ciao Nana!
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