Monday, November 28, 2005
Tonight my Boo told me that I am unemotional and unfeeling. My words mean nothing anymore to him. Not that I can say anything more to him than I alread have. He says that his problems are greater than mine. How do you put a measurement on our feelings, whether it is for each other or anything else. I don't know why he can't understand how I feel right now. But I guess he can't comprehend the pain and grief I am feeling right now. It is to the point that I can't "feel" for anyone right now. I am moving through my day to day activities as though I am sleep walking. How can I make him understand that? I am ALWAYS there for him; he has been there for me too, but I need a little more patience from him. I think this song says it all right now, for both of us.
So here are a few pictures of the lights in front of my house. By the way, I didn't take the pictures. LOL
Sunday, November 27, 2005
Is it Christmas already? Man, I am just recovering financially from last Christmas!! My daughter has given me her list already. Between my parents and myself, she will probably get most of what she wants. Of course at the top of the list is an iPod! Hell, I want a dayum iPod myself. But she will probably get the cheaper, Creative Zen MP3 instead. It holds as many songs and it has a FM radio, so she will get over it.
Since this is our first Christmas in "our" house, she wants to put up Christmas lights outside the house. I haven't done this since I was a teenager and then it was with my dad making me do it. I guess it hasn't changed for me, only this time it is my kid "making" me do it. I usually love Christmas, but this year I am not feeling it. I am still devestated that my grandmother won't be here with us. Thanksgiving sucked for me because I was crying the whole day. She was supposed to be here with us. It didn't feel right. I guess I will have to get used to it being this way. It just seems like everything is so commercial now. I try to get my daughter to understand why we have Christmas but it is a moot point when there are presents involved.
I am hoping I can cope with this holiday season! Ay Dios!
Watch Video:DON'T FORGET ABOUT US (Mariah Carey)
I am really feeling this song these days. This song brings up memories of my first love, who became my husband when I was 17. Those days seem so long ago. Mariah is so right that your first love is always your strongest. You compare all future loves to them, good or bad. It can be a bit potent. My first love and I were together from the time I was 13 until I was 24, married at 17. Thinking back I was so dumb to get married so young, but love cannot be denied sometimes. I don't regret anything about that time in my life, other than wishing my husband hadn't been in the military and hadn't been killed in Desert Storm. The Bush family has really destroyed my family as well as others. Oh well, that is another posting.
Saturday, November 19, 2005
10 Things about Me...that I recently discovered:
1. I am a lot stronger than I thought I was...emotionally and physically
2. I have turned into my mother and that is NOT a GOOD THING!
3. I am a decent parent to my kid
4. I don't love easily and don't allow myself to be loved
5. I LOVE traveling, any and everywhere
6. I am obessed with reading and the INTERNET
7. I have some awesome Internet friends
8. I have become more tolerant of stupidity than I used to be
9. I am not a good judge of character with others
10. I can say NO without feeling guilty about it.
|The Movie Of Your Life Is An Indie Flick|
You do things your own way - and it's made for colorful times.
Your life hasn't turned out how anyone expected, thank goodness!
Your best movie matches: Clerks, Garden State, Napoleon Dynamite
Thursday, November 17, 2005
I had to take a break from my life for a minute, so I took a day trip to Washington, DC. I went to a party, I guess you could call it that, teaching how to make Cuban drinks. I know, it seems crazy to fly in someplace for 2 nights and a day, just to get away, but I did. My grief for my grandmother is at times overwhelming and I feel like I can't cope sometimes. The chemotherapy sucks, not as bad as before, but sucks none the less. I know, I know...I am not supposed to be drinking alcohol on chemotherapy. Shit, I was good al the other times and look where I ended up. So what is a little fun a minute. I felt like I needed to do this. So I flew in to DC on Tuesday night (11.15.05), went to the "party" on Wednesday night (11.16.05) and returned home on Thursday (11.17.05) at 8 am in the morning and I went to work on Thursday...with a hangover but I went.
The party was a lot of fun. It was heald at a Cuban restaurant called Yuca. I attended with mi amiga Grouchy. I can always count on her to partake in my wild activities from time to time. It is great to have a friend to do that is willing to do that with me. We learned how to make, I think, about 6 different drinks. After the first 3, I was drunk. My favorite drink of the night was the St. Lucia. Let me see if I can remember what was in it. There is Coconut Rum (They suggested Captain Parrot, but I am all about Cruzian flavored rums), Midori, Pineapple juice, and Sours. This drink was delicious. I kept sucking them down.
Check out the photos from the night!
Marissa taking a sip
The drink Menu at Yuca
Friday, November 11, 2005
|Your Heart Is Orange|
Love equals unbridled happiness for you. You enjoy the wild ride of falling in love.
And while the ride is fun for a while, you always get off once the thrill is gone.
Your flirting style: Hyper
Your lucky first date: Anything you need your passport for!
Your dream lover: Is both daring and well grounded
What you bring to relationships: Energy
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
|Your Birthdate: July 23|
You're not good at any one thing, and that's the problem.
You're good at so much - you never know what to do.
Change is in your blood, and you don't stick to much for long.
You are destined for a life of travel and fun.
Your strength: Your likeability
Your weakness: You never feel satisfied
Your power color: Bright yellow
Your power symbol: Asterisk
Your power month: May
Monday, November 07, 2005
|How You Are In Love|
You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You give and take equally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.