Sunday, June 29, 2008
Just an update: I was laid off from my job in April, then found a new job in May. Hate the new job. It is so beneath me, but I need something to pay the bills. That is how I am trying to look at things. I am not the least big challenged. So, needless to say I am looking again. I always feel like I can't find a job that fits me and makes me happy. This job I am with has it's perks- I get a company car and company gas card. But that is about it. I feel like I have stepped back into Mayberry RFD. They have NO HR processes in effect. They go by the wims of the CEO/President of the company. It is just a hot mess.
Next update: The girl did not pass the Math and Science TAKS (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills) tests. She needs to pass both parts of this test so she can graduate from high school. This whole process has pissed me off and frustrated me and her. I mean she could have an A in a class but if she doesn't pass this series of exit exams, then she doesn't graduate. It just sucks!! It has stressed me out so much that it is affecting my blood pressure. So now I am on blood pressure medication. I am trying to calm it down. I have been knitting more and more to try to focus on other things. I made a major layette set for one of my former co workers who is pregnant; blanket, bib, booties, mary jane booties, hat, cardigan, and hand mits. But it still didn't help as much as I had hoped.
Well that is my life for now. I will try to visit blog land more frequently.
Monday, May 26, 2008
I did not sign up to be a single parent. We purposefully waited 5 years into our marriage to get pregnant. I wanted to finish my bachelors degree and he wanted to finish his masters degree. We waited so we could do it together. As only children, we wanted at least 2 children. I have been robbed of that opportunity. So much I didn't get to do with him because it was always, later, after he retired or later after things settle down. Later never happened for us. The only thing that happened later was military uniforms showing up at my door, telling me my man had been killed stepping on a landmine and there was basically nothing left of him. I guess what also angers me to no end, is the fact that I have no grave to visit, I have no urn with ashes because there was NOTHING LEFT of him! There was no sign that he was ever on this earth except for the life that he and I created together.
So today, I have to deal with looking at mothers, wives, husbands, being told their loved one has been killed in this senseless war. Then we have the people that seem to have forgotten what this day is all about. Everyone pulls out their grills and has a party, but what are they celebrating? Yes, it is great to have a party, but let's remember what we are "celebrating" or remembering...Our fallen soldiers. That is what Memorial Day is about.
When will it ever end? Will we ever stop this war? When will it be over...the senseless killing over oil...or is this really about oil? Does anyone really know why we are at war? I feel like we are stuck there now and if we leave, we will have destroyed a country that isn't ours. I fully support the troops that are there, but I am angry about us even being there. Let's get out as soon as we can to save more grief and sadness for other people.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
March 11, 2007
The New York Times
9 West 43rd Street
New York,New York 10036-3959
Thank you for engaging in one of the biggest misrepresentations of the truth I have ever seen in sixty-five years. You sat and shared with me for two hours. You told me you were doing a "Spiritual Biography" of Senator Barack Obama. For two hours, I shared with you how I thought he was the most principled individual in public service that I have ever met.For two hours, I talked with you about how idealistic he was. For two hours I shared with you what a genuine human being he was. I told you how incredible he was as a man who was an African American in public service, and as a man who refused to announce his candidacy for President until Carol Moseley Braun indicated one way or the other whether or not she was going to run.I told you what a dreamer he was.
I told you how idealistic he was. We talked about how refreshing it would be for someone who knew about Islam to be in the Oval Office. Your own question to me was, Didn't I think it would be incredible to have somebody in the Oval Office who not only knew about Muslims, but had living and breathing Muslims in his own family? I told you how important it would be to have a man who not only knew the difference between Shiites and Sunnis prior to 9/11/01 in the Oval Office, but also how important it would be to have a man who knew what Sufism was; a man who understood that there were different branches of Judaism; a man who knew the difference between Hasidic Jews, Orthodox Jews, Conservative Jews and Reformed Jews; and a man who was a devout Christian, but who did not prejudge others because they believed something other than what he believed.
I talked about how rare it was to meet a man whose Christianity was not just "in word only." I talked about Barack being a person who lived his faith and did not argue his faith. I talked about Barack as a person who did not draw doctrinal lines in the sand nor consign other people to hell if they did not believe what he believed.Out of a two-hour conversation with you about Barack's spiritual journey and my protesting to you that I had not shaped him nor formed him, that I had not mentored him or made him the man he was, even though I would love to take that credit, you did not print any of that. When I told you, using one of your own Jewish stories from the Hebrew Bible as to how God asked Moses, "What is that in your hand?," that Barack was like that when I met him. Barack had it "in his hand." Barack had in his grasp a uniqueness in terms of his spiritual development that one is hard put to find in the 21st century, and you did not print that.
As I was just starting to say a moment ago, Jodi, out of two hours of conversation I spent approximately five to seven minutes on Barack's taking advice from one of his trusted campaign people and deeming it unwise to make me the media spotlight on the day of his announcing his candidacy for the Presidency and what do you print? You and your editor proceeded to present to the general public a snippet, a printed "sound byte" and a titillating and tantalizing article about his disinviting me to the Invocation on the day of his announcing his candidacy.
I have never been exposed to that kind of duplicitous behavior before, and I want to write you publicly to let you know that I do not approve of it and will not be party to any further smearing of the name, the reputation, the integrity or the character of perhaps this nation's first (and maybe even only) honest candidate offering himself for public service as the person to occupy the Oval Office.Your editor is a sensationalist. For you to even mention that makes me doubt your credibility, and I am looking forward to see how you are going to butcher what else I had to say concerning Senator Obama's "Spiritual Biography."
Our Conference Minister, the Reverend Jane Fisler Hoffman, a white woman who belongs to a Black church that Hannity of "Hannity and Colmes" is trying to trash, set the record straight for you in terms of who I am and in terms of who we are as the church to which Barack has belonged for over twenty years.The president of our denomination, the Reverend John Thomas, has offered to try to help you clarify in your confused head what Trinity Church is even though you spent the entire weekend with us setting me up to interview me for what turned out to be a smear of the Senator; and yet The New York Times continues to roll on making the truth what it wants to be the truth.
I do not remember reading in your article that Barack had apologized for listening to that bad information and bad advice. Did I miss it? Or did your editor cut it out? Either way, you do not have to worry about hearing anything else from me for you to edit or "spin" because you are more interested in journalism than in truth.Forgive me for having a momentary lapse. I forgot that The New York Times was leading the bandwagon in trumpeting why it is we should have gone into an illegal war. The New York Times became George Bush and the Republican Party's national "blog." The New York Times played a role in the outing of Valerie Plame. I do not know why I thought The New York Times had actually repented and was going to exhibit a different kind of behavior.Maybe it was my faith in the Jewish Holy Day of Roshashana. Maybe it was my being caught up in the euphoria of the Season of Lent; but whatever it is or was, I was sadly mistaken. There is no repentance on the part of The New York Times.
There is no integrity when it comes to The Times. You should do well with that paper, Jodi. You looked me straight in my face and told me a lie!
Sincerely and respectfully yours,
Reverend Jeremiah A. Wright, Jr., Senior Pastor
Trinity United Church of Christ
Friday, March 28, 2008
Okay here is the part where I have lost my mind. I bought 8 skeins of yard for $145.00. See I have lost my mind!! I don't know what I was thinking when I said okay I'll take it. I had immediate buyers remorse. The yarn feels so good and I know it will make me a great blanket but oh man it is so expensive. I am thinking of taking it all back and just buying my cheaper yarn. But oh I am so sad to part with this yarn. Should I or should I not take it back?!!
Monday, March 17, 2008
VOTE PEOPLE! Make your voices heard!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
My parents. Wow what can I say! Growing up they were strict as hell! They were always saying what I couldn't do, which outnumbered the things I could do. I felt oppressed and stifled. Good grades were a must, nothing under a B. I was lucky, because learning came easy for me. I didn't realize the adversity they were struggling with. Surviving in the late 60's and 70's was hard, but to come from another country in addition to that was extra hard. As I know now. They did the best they could with me. I ran away from them at 17, through marriage. Too YOUNG!! But I wanted to be on my own and life without someone telling me NO all the time. Now, I see, as a parent, what they were trying to protect me from...LIFE! My parents have been married for 42 years...43 in July of this year. Their marriage has survived domestic violence, economic recession, discrimination, infidelity, and time. They have done what most people today can't do...stick together no matter what. I don't know what the difference in marriage now as opposed to then, but whatever their formula is, it has worked.
So to my dear parents I want to say THANK YOU and I LOVE YOU!! You made me what I am today and I appreciate you both!!
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Here it is!
So after hearing and seeing the results of the "rolos" o "flip", I decided I had to find a Dominican stylist. So with the help of the wonderful internet, I found a website that has Dominican stylists or stylist that are trained in the Dominican method. Well, being in North Texas, means there are very few Dominicans. However, I was lucky enough to find a stylist really close to me that was trained in the Dominician method.
I treated myself, for Valentine's Day, to a hair day. This was the second time I have been to this stylist. She trained under a Dominican stylist in Washington, DC. DC and NYC have THE BEST Dominican stylists outside of DR. So I went today to get my hair done. It was the greatest experience ever. My hair feels sooo good. It makes me feel so great to have a beautiful head of hair!!
YAY DR and the rolos y flips!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
I really dislike this job but I have to go. I have to work. Just a few short months ago, I was looking for a job, begging for a job. So I took this job just cuz no one else was offering. I needed money. I feel like I settled and it wasn't a good settle either. I just feel overwhelmed and out of my element. I don't feel as though I was trained properly...Just 7 weeks of BS! I don't know. I just don't like it.
I am still looking for something else and praying I can hold on until I can find something else.
Saturday, February 09, 2008
My 17 y.o. daughter suffers from ulcers and stress because she is constantly worried about the dreaded TAKS test (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills). She has almost given up all hope of going to college because she feels like she won't be able to pass the test to graduate. She had practically given up in school because her confidence has been shot to hell each time she flunks a portion of that test. I keep trying to be encouraging and tell her to try her best but she comes back with why because my class work means nothing. A kid could have straight A's in classes but if she flunks the TAKS test, they still flunk the class. What kind of encouragement is that?
I think about how G.H.W. Bush has messed up the education system for the whole country, that started when he was gov of Texas. I just don't understand. I just want my kid to graduate and move on with her life...out of my house.
She is originally from China and told me the hard time she had when she came to the United States. She lived in California at first and was basically a slave for a wealthy family. She was in the US to attend university, but they made it very difficult for her to do that. But she continued anyway. They decided to move to DC and "asked" her to move with them. She moved with them and went to university in DC, in between "working" for them. One day, she got fed up with them and quit. She found herself jobless and homeless for a little while. But she still continued on with her education.
Fast forward some years. She meets a nice man and gets married. She has a baby girl and then has a baby boy a few years later. Her baby boy died when he was 11 months and she was devestated. It was all due to careless mistakes of medical personnel. Once again that is another post. She thought nothing in her life was as horrible as that. I agree with her...but her faith never waivered. After baby boy's death she decided she did not want any more children, although her husband wanted to try one more time. So she got pregnant and delivered a healthy bouncing baby boy December 4, 2007.
So out come the knitting needles again and this is what I came up with.
This is for her new baby boy. This is for her to wrap her new baby up in and help him feel safe like she made me feel while I was there.
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Now as for the upcoming presidental election, now that John has backed out of the election, I am leaning towards Barack for president. I was going back and forth between Barack and Hillary, but lately Hillary has turned me off. She is definitely NO Bill! I have not liked her comments of late on lots of issues and the way her campaign is going. She has become bitchy. I don't like to use that word randomly because most people think women who have confidence and power are bitchy. But I think she is trying to hard to prove she is tough and it has come across wrong. I also don't like what she has to say about pulling out of Iraq and about the U.S. economy. Barack seems to have a real agenda and plan and I like that.
I just want us out of Iraq, our economy back on track, and our physical environment(ecologically) corrected. I want to feel safe financially, physically and emotionally again. I don't feel that way now. I feel like I am on a constant seesaw all the time. So I want the politicking (is that a word too??) to end and the action to begin. We need to get out and vote in record numbers. Typically Texas has been a republican state and I am sure it will continue to be so, but we democrats have GOT to get out and vote. It can be for Hillary or Barack (preferably Barack) but we cannot withstand another republican president. I want more a more positive national and global agenda. We need to fix our world reputation and we can't do that with a republican in office.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Well, along comes Tanya. She sees I am struggling under the pressure of it all and she offers to help me. In getting to know her, I found out she was from the same town in Louisiana as many of my relatives. So we struck up a quick and lasting friendship. Even though we ended up, at times, in different parts of the world and the U.S., we still stayed in close contact. She was there for my graduation from college. I was there when she suffered through her numerous miscarriages. She was truly my friend.
When my husband died, Tanya was there for me. When my baby was born 2 months later, she was there for me. Over the years Tanya wanted a baby really bad. She tried and tried and ended up having 9 miscarriages over the years. I felt so bad because here I was: 1) taking birth control to keep from having a baby and 2) getting pregnant when I totally didn't want to and wasn't ready. She knew this but still stayed by my side. She checked on me constantly, came to town to help me through my husband's funeral, even though there were very few pieces of him left. She loved me and I loved her as my sister in the military; even though my membership card had been revoked due to death.
As the years went on, our phone calls became less frequent and our letters became once a year Christmas cards. But everytime we reconnected, it was like we had never been apart or out of touch. She did not hold grudges, nor did she make me feel bad because I was a terrible friend. She understood I could not emotionally deal with her military life after mine had ended, and she still loved me!
I found out last week my sister friend died giving birth to the baby she wanted so badly over a month ago. She was 42 years old. She had been waiting over 20 years to have her baby. She had her baby but gave up her life to do so. Her husband is devestated. They had been married for 25 years. After a while, children was not as important to him as they were to Tanya. But he supported her in every way he could. He loved her enough to try to give her what she wanted. He doesn't know what to do with a newborn baby. I called him to checked on him and he just sobbed. Tanya LOVED Mardi Gras. This year is going to be especially hard on all of us because Mardi Gras was Tanya's christmas! So I am going to Louisiana this weekend to see my new niece and to see my "brother". Help him as much as his wife helped me over the years.
Tanya, I am sorry I wasn't there for you! I love you and miss you Girl! But know I am going to be there for your baby girl and she will know what a special and giving person you were!
So my mission is to reconnect to my friends and appreciate them and not take them for granted as I have in the past.
Laisser le bon temps rouleau! Happy Mardi Gras Tanya!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
So I am adding Junior Seau to my C.L.I.F list. He is 38 years old from San Diego, CA, but ethically he is Samoan. OMG! I want him! I think he may have just moved Tupac from the number one spot!! QUE RICO, QUE SEXY, QUE SUAVE!!!
Friday, January 11, 2008
1. Tupak Shakur - Yes I know he is dead but he is still my number one. Maybe I can have him when I to heaven....or would that be hell??!! lol
2. Vin Diesel
3. Derek Jeter
4. Daddy Yankee
sorry no pic available!!
6. Ed Bradley - Yes I know he is dead too but I love a suave older man! Que SEXXYYY!! lol
7. John Abraham - Indian actor...yes I am into Bollywood
8. David Beckham - I would have an orgasm just looking at his pecs and abs...nuf said bout that!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
purple stripped hat
moccasins with shells
Rhi's mauve hat
Baby Karla's hat
scarf with ladybugs
Blanket for Marissa's Birthday
moccasins with shells
So these are most of my projects. There are a few that I accidentally deleted the pictures from my camera.I am hoping the people I gave the gifts to will take pictures of them for me.
I have started my new projects, baby blankets and baby hats. I am going to try to tackle some baby booties. I don't know...that maybe beyond my skill level. :)