It is so hard as a parent to let go. I know I have to but it is killing me. I am a control freak anyway so that makes things worse. I gave her a task to change a class on her schedule. I was a nervous wreak that she wouldn't do it right. I tried not to "drill" it into her, but of course I did. I asked her if she wanted me to go in with her and her response was "if you want to." That cracked my heart. I wanted her to say, "yes! please help me!" I resisted going in with her. She called me later and said she did it with no problems. *sigh*...it is ending so soon.
She and I have a good relationship. She pretty much tells me everything, but I am afraid that will end with high school. There is so much loss going on during this time. It makes me think that my "parenting/training" time for her is ending soon. I am just not sure that I like this time period. I think I have done a good job so far, but my biggest fear is that she will be hurt at some point in time. Whether it is by a "boy", or friends, I don't want her to feel the hurt and pain that sometimes comes with relationships. I know I can't protect her from life's trials and hardships all the time and she needs the pain to learn from, but I don't like it!
Well I guess I need to get over it because I can't stop her from growing up, but I sure wish I could slow it down a bit.
7 comments:
Ahh, but much can be learned from fear and pain. Sometimes, while it hurts, it may actually be a good lesson.
I wouldn't worry too much that she somehow doesn't need you or may forget you. When I was a kid, everything I did had my mom's voice stuck in the back of my head saying, "Don't do that," "This person is no good, get away," etc. Great parents always stay with their kids even when they're not physically with them. I have no doubt that this will be the case with your daughter. :)
Awww....Kim i am sending you big hugs i know that this can be hard but i know that your daughter will be fine she has a good mami who raised her right. :)
Awww, Kim. You're a good mom who has made many sacrifices for R. She's a good kid. She'll do crazy things in high school (just like we all did unfortunately) but trust that you did a good job. And, like Reese said, she'll probably have your voice and face in the back of her head saying... aw hell, mami is not going to like this. But they have to test the boundaries (remember?) to form their budding personalities. I know it's not easy, but giving her the space she needs is probably better than trying to put her in a bubble. (Speaking as one whose parents tried to put her in a bubble and look how I turned out... ;-) And, seeing as you all are close already, hopefully you'll stay that way. That'll help.
Reese: You are wise beyond your years my friend!
Karla: You can use my insanity as an example of what NOT to do to your kids on your new job. lol
Jo: You turned out just fine!
Kim,
I can say first hand that you have done a GREAT job. I'm not saying that b/c it is the PC thing to say, but b/c I have witnessed your Mom/Daughter relationship first hand. I have watched BOTH of you grow in the last five years. She KNOWS you love her, and try to guide her. You may have to loosen you grip, but know that your lessons will always lie within her heart.
-Marissa
Letting go is the hardest!! I have a daughter that will be a graduating senior, early mind you, and I still cannot believe she will be in college in JANUARY. I have been trying to prepare myself for it for three years and every. single. time I think about I tear up. I could not have asked for a better daughter. She has really blossomed into a wonderful young lady.
The thing the holds true, and I have seen this with my own eyes, is that the lessons you teach your child growing up they will for sure follow as they get older. They will make their own mistakes but the core values will remain.
For now, as someone else stated, be sure to keep the lines of communications open and reassure her constantly that you are there for her no matter what. letting her know that you have faith in her and her intelligence willalso be a huge confidence booster as well. Girls need that.
I am not ready to let go either but I know that is necessary for her to grow!
Good Luck!
Icey,
Thanks for the great advice!
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