Friendships

I have maybe 3 people in my life that I call my best friend. When you think of the term best friend you think about middle school and high school. I used to have tons of "best friends", but as I grew older I realized that they weren't really my best friends but an merely acquaintances.

I am an EXTREMELY private person when it comes to what I tell people about myself or my life. I feel that people "betray" my trust more often than not. The 3 people who are my best friends probably don't know the "full" me. Does that make me a horrible person? I like to think not, but I do think there is something a bit abnormal about that. There are days that my life just downright sucks, but I never tell anyone because I don't trust anyone with my "secrets", my thoughts, or my feelings. It is takes a lot for me to share with anyone. Writing in a blog is a stretch for me.

I have issues with how much information is too much. I think everyone in their life should have ONE person they can tell ANYTHING to and not worry about it getting back to your "community" of friends/acquaintances. I don't think I have that one person in my life. I have my 3 "bests" that I tell certain things to, but one of the 3 may know certain things the other 2 don't know or vice versa. Is that weird? Am I a paranoid person or just a distrusting one? I think that it is a sad statement in my life that I don't have one person I trust with "myself". It isn't like I have this secret life or exciting life, other than my usual drama.

I guess I shouldn't worry about it because it has gotten me by for 37 years, 11 months and 21 days.