Saturday, February 18, 2006

It's Over

This song, "So Sick" describes exactly how I am feeling right now. It is officially over. My boo has called it quits. He has decided that the changes I made for the New Year to better my health were too much for him and he decided to end 3 years of being together. I am on a weight loss quest right now and he doesn't agree with it. I am doing this so I can get healthy and not have so many medical issues. I was slowly killing myself with food and it had to stop. So for the New Year, I decided I was going to change my eating habits and exercise more. I have had some trouble, but overall, I have been doing good. I cannot understand a person that does not want their "mate" to be healthy and possibly live a longer life. He has been with me through my tumor, chemo, and surgeries, but he can't stand by me with this. I don't understand at all. He is not trying to help me understand. He just says, "It's OVER!!"

Another problem we are having is location, location, location. He wants me to leave Dallas and move to Miami...RIGHT NOW! I made a promise to my daughter that she could stay in one high school until she graduates. She only has 3 1/2 years left. He can't seem to understand that it is important to stay put for high school. It is hard making friends anyway and moving all the time doesn't help! I moved to the house I am in currently to get her in a really good high school, in a really good neighborhood. As a parent isn't that what I am supposed to do? I want to satisfy my own whims and wishes, but I can't be that selfish. He seems to feel that my not moving right away is somehow because I don't love him. He is wrong. I am just trying to do what is best for my kid. He can't seem to understand that I have to put her needs above mine right now. As a parent, it is my responsibility to do that. Right? HELL YES, I would LOVE to be in Miami right now on the beach, in the sunshine. Instead I am stuck in Dallas with ice storms and 27 degree weather!! But can't he understand the sacrifices I am having to make right now. How can I help him understand that? He has a 4 year old daughter but because he is allowing a Nanny to raise her (he is a widower), he is able to come and go as he wishes. I don't chose to live that way. I have tried to convince him to move to Dallas and he contemplated it, but felt he couldn't live with the weather here and the expense of the airfare for him to travel to and from the Dominican Republic. He is by no means poor. He has tons of frequent flier miles and he has a best friend that freaking owns a jet...so it sounds like excuses to me.

I am tired of trying to change his mind and think about the positives of our relationship. I am tired of trying to justify my decisions to him. I am just plain ole tired. So it is over! Stick a fork in me cuz I am done!

5 comments:

SuzLue said...

I'm sorry you are going through this, but I applaud you for being a great mom and taking your child into consideration. It sounds like you are making the right decision, and in no way shape or form is it a selfish act.

Reese The Law Girl said...

Kim, as a kid who went to 13 (yes, 13!) different schools because my mother moved us around, I can say, without a doubt, that you made the right decision about letting your daughter go to the same HS all 4 years.

My mom realized that around 7th grade, I needed to be in the junior high school with the kids I would go to HS with. So, my mom found a good neighboorhood when I was 11 and planted my sister and I there for the long haul so we could go to a GOOD high school with the same kids we went to junior high with.

I cannot fathom being a new kid in HS. You are absolutely a loner and probably so for the next 3-4 years you are there.

So, good looking out. Don't let anyone tell you that you made the wrong choice for your daughter (or for yourself regarding your new weight loss regimen). You do what you gotta do, Kim! :)

Karla said...

Kim, I am sorry to hear about you and M. I can't believe he is being so hard-headed about the whole situation, but moving on. I applaud you for doing the right thing for your daughter as well as yourself.

I know that this might not be the right thing to say now but when you come out to visit i will make sure that Marcus is here to cheer you up.

Joanne said...

Ay... chit! What the hell is going on??? I don't even know what to say to all of this. I think everyone has given good advice. I'll just add that I (and we) are here for you no matter...

HOORAY!!!!! for your eating better, and trying to lose weight!

CubanDiva said...

Thanks for the support Chicas! I appreciate it! I am having good and bad days but overall I am okay. It is good to know I have such good friends.