I do not want to go to work tomorrow! Isn't that sad to say? I know there are millions of people out there who want to work and here I am, ungrateful me, saying I don't want to go.
I really dislike this job but I have to go. I have to work. Just a few short months ago, I was looking for a job, begging for a job. So I took this job just cuz no one else was offering. I needed money. I feel like I settled and it wasn't a good settle either. I just feel overwhelmed and out of my element. I don't feel as though I was trained properly...Just 7 weeks of BS! I don't know. I just don't like it.
I am still looking for something else and praying I can hold on until I can find something else.
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Saturday, February 09, 2008
No child left behind...Are they sure about that?!
This whole no child left behind had really pissed me off. I think it is a ridiculous law that doesn't help any student. If anything it encourages more kids to drop out because they get discouraged about not passing the test. Teachers are teaching according to the test and not actual abstact thinking or logical thinking. You have to pass these "benchmark" tests or they won't pass their classes, nor will they graduate high school. How is this encouraging to continue your education? I know if I had been under the pressure that kids are under today to pass, I probably would have said forget it and just dropped out. I am a horrible test taker and unfortunately, my daughter had developed the same gene.
My 17 y.o. daughter suffers from ulcers and stress because she is constantly worried about the dreaded TAKS test (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills). She has almost given up all hope of going to college because she feels like she won't be able to pass the test to graduate. She had practically given up in school because her confidence has been shot to hell each time she flunks a portion of that test. I keep trying to be encouraging and tell her to try her best but she comes back with why because my class work means nothing. A kid could have straight A's in classes but if she flunks the TAKS test, they still flunk the class. What kind of encouragement is that?
I think about how G.H.W. Bush has messed up the education system for the whole country, that started when he was gov of Texas. I just don't understand. I just want my kid to graduate and move on with her life...out of my house.
My 17 y.o. daughter suffers from ulcers and stress because she is constantly worried about the dreaded TAKS test (Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills). She has almost given up all hope of going to college because she feels like she won't be able to pass the test to graduate. She had practically given up in school because her confidence has been shot to hell each time she flunks a portion of that test. I keep trying to be encouraging and tell her to try her best but she comes back with why because my class work means nothing. A kid could have straight A's in classes but if she flunks the TAKS test, they still flunk the class. What kind of encouragement is that?
I think about how G.H.W. Bush has messed up the education system for the whole country, that started when he was gov of Texas. I just don't understand. I just want my kid to graduate and move on with her life...out of my house.
Friendship Knitting
Over the years I have met some truly wonderful people. I moved to DC in 2006 to work a temp job for a conservation organization. I had lived in DC previously with disasterous results. But that is a different post. While I was there in DC I met a wonderful lady who took me under her wing.
She is originally from China and told me the hard time she had when she came to the United States. She lived in California at first and was basically a slave for a wealthy family. She was in the US to attend university, but they made it very difficult for her to do that. But she continued anyway. They decided to move to DC and "asked" her to move with them. She moved with them and went to university in DC, in between "working" for them. One day, she got fed up with them and quit. She found herself jobless and homeless for a little while. But she still continued on with her education.
Fast forward some years. She meets a nice man and gets married. She has a baby girl and then has a baby boy a few years later. Her baby boy died when he was 11 months and she was devestated. It was all due to careless mistakes of medical personnel. Once again that is another post. She thought nothing in her life was as horrible as that. I agree with her...but her faith never waivered. After baby boy's death she decided she did not want any more children, although her husband wanted to try one more time. So she got pregnant and delivered a healthy bouncing baby boy December 4, 2007.
So out come the knitting needles again and this is what I came up with.
This is for her new baby boy. This is for her to wrap her new baby up in and help him feel safe like she made me feel while I was there.
Thanks Z!!!
She is originally from China and told me the hard time she had when she came to the United States. She lived in California at first and was basically a slave for a wealthy family. She was in the US to attend university, but they made it very difficult for her to do that. But she continued anyway. They decided to move to DC and "asked" her to move with them. She moved with them and went to university in DC, in between "working" for them. One day, she got fed up with them and quit. She found herself jobless and homeless for a little while. But she still continued on with her education.
Fast forward some years. She meets a nice man and gets married. She has a baby girl and then has a baby boy a few years later. Her baby boy died when he was 11 months and she was devestated. It was all due to careless mistakes of medical personnel. Once again that is another post. She thought nothing in her life was as horrible as that. I agree with her...but her faith never waivered. After baby boy's death she decided she did not want any more children, although her husband wanted to try one more time. So she got pregnant and delivered a healthy bouncing baby boy December 4, 2007.
So out come the knitting needles again and this is what I came up with.
This is for her new baby boy. This is for her to wrap her new baby up in and help him feel safe like she made me feel while I was there.
Thanks Z!!!
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Politics
Okay as I have watched debate after debate, primaries (is that a word?) and caucuses all over the country, I have realized, I HATE POLITICS!! I absolutely hate it. I have been trying to figure out who I want to vote for president. We have/had some great candidates. I was really leaning towards John Edwards because he is the only one talk about "fixing" things here in the U.S. and not half a world away. I know it is selfish of me to want to focus on just the U.S., but I am tired of all my tax dollars going to a war that is bogus. G.H.W.B played us all. He was waiting for the opportunity to "avenge" his father, but it has been at the expense of the U.S. What about the unemployment rate (of which I was a part of until recently), what about the housing foreclosures, and what about New Orleans? I am tired of struggling. Things were really good with Bill and it has gone to hell in a hand basket over the last 8 years. Can I survive the next 11 months? Can Americans wake up and realize that we are in trouble? The world hates us. I am embarrassed to show my passport in other countries because they all hate us. "They" look at me with such distain and mistrust, like I am the one that started the war. Really what I want to say is, " I agree with you! We suck!", but I have to show some loyalty to my country so I just keep my mouth shut and move on in the line.
Now as for the upcoming presidental election, now that John has backed out of the election, I am leaning towards Barack for president. I was going back and forth between Barack and Hillary, but lately Hillary has turned me off. She is definitely NO Bill! I have not liked her comments of late on lots of issues and the way her campaign is going. She has become bitchy. I don't like to use that word randomly because most people think women who have confidence and power are bitchy. But I think she is trying to hard to prove she is tough and it has come across wrong. I also don't like what she has to say about pulling out of Iraq and about the U.S. economy. Barack seems to have a real agenda and plan and I like that.
I just want us out of Iraq, our economy back on track, and our physical environment(ecologically) corrected. I want to feel safe financially, physically and emotionally again. I don't feel that way now. I feel like I am on a constant seesaw all the time. So I want the politicking (is that a word too??) to end and the action to begin. We need to get out and vote in record numbers. Typically Texas has been a republican state and I am sure it will continue to be so, but we democrats have GOT to get out and vote. It can be for Hillary or Barack (preferably Barack) but we cannot withstand another republican president. I want more a more positive national and global agenda. We need to fix our world reputation and we can't do that with a republican in office.
VOTE PEOPLE!!
Now as for the upcoming presidental election, now that John has backed out of the election, I am leaning towards Barack for president. I was going back and forth between Barack and Hillary, but lately Hillary has turned me off. She is definitely NO Bill! I have not liked her comments of late on lots of issues and the way her campaign is going. She has become bitchy. I don't like to use that word randomly because most people think women who have confidence and power are bitchy. But I think she is trying to hard to prove she is tough and it has come across wrong. I also don't like what she has to say about pulling out of Iraq and about the U.S. economy. Barack seems to have a real agenda and plan and I like that.
I just want us out of Iraq, our economy back on track, and our physical environment(ecologically) corrected. I want to feel safe financially, physically and emotionally again. I don't feel that way now. I feel like I am on a constant seesaw all the time. So I want the politicking (is that a word too??) to end and the action to begin. We need to get out and vote in record numbers. Typically Texas has been a republican state and I am sure it will continue to be so, but we democrats have GOT to get out and vote. It can be for Hillary or Barack (preferably Barack) but we cannot withstand another republican president. I want more a more positive national and global agenda. We need to fix our world reputation and we can't do that with a republican in office.
VOTE PEOPLE!!
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Tribute to my friend
When I was a VERY young military wife, living in Hawai'i and then Guam, I made a friend named Tanya. I was just 17 years old and Tanya was a worldly 19. We quickly bonded. She showed me how to manuver the military world as an officer's wife. She had been one 2 years longer than I, so I thought she was the know all for everything Military. The military culture is unlike any other, especially for an officer's wife. As an officer's wife, you are expected to host parties, run errands, smooze with your spouse's commanding officer and their spouse. You are supposed to know EVERYTHING military. I just thought I was "just" going to be a wife and live a glamorous, vagabond life. HOW WRONG WAS I?!
Well, along comes Tanya. She sees I am struggling under the pressure of it all and she offers to help me. In getting to know her, I found out she was from the same town in Louisiana as many of my relatives. So we struck up a quick and lasting friendship. Even though we ended up, at times, in different parts of the world and the U.S., we still stayed in close contact. She was there for my graduation from college. I was there when she suffered through her numerous miscarriages. She was truly my friend.
When my husband died, Tanya was there for me. When my baby was born 2 months later, she was there for me. Over the years Tanya wanted a baby really bad. She tried and tried and ended up having 9 miscarriages over the years. I felt so bad because here I was: 1) taking birth control to keep from having a baby and 2) getting pregnant when I totally didn't want to and wasn't ready. She knew this but still stayed by my side. She checked on me constantly, came to town to help me through my husband's funeral, even though there were very few pieces of him left. She loved me and I loved her as my sister in the military; even though my membership card had been revoked due to death.
As the years went on, our phone calls became less frequent and our letters became once a year Christmas cards. But everytime we reconnected, it was like we had never been apart or out of touch. She did not hold grudges, nor did she make me feel bad because I was a terrible friend. She understood I could not emotionally deal with her military life after mine had ended, and she still loved me!
I found out last week my sister friend died giving birth to the baby she wanted so badly over a month ago. She was 42 years old. She had been waiting over 20 years to have her baby. She had her baby but gave up her life to do so. Her husband is devestated. They had been married for 25 years. After a while, children was not as important to him as they were to Tanya. But he supported her in every way he could. He loved her enough to try to give her what she wanted. He doesn't know what to do with a newborn baby. I called him to checked on him and he just sobbed. Tanya LOVED Mardi Gras. This year is going to be especially hard on all of us because Mardi Gras was Tanya's christmas! So I am going to Louisiana this weekend to see my new niece and to see my "brother". Help him as much as his wife helped me over the years.
Tanya, I am sorry I wasn't there for you! I love you and miss you Girl! But know I am going to be there for your baby girl and she will know what a special and giving person you were!
So my mission is to reconnect to my friends and appreciate them and not take them for granted as I have in the past.
Laisser le bon temps rouleau! Happy Mardi Gras Tanya!
Well, along comes Tanya. She sees I am struggling under the pressure of it all and she offers to help me. In getting to know her, I found out she was from the same town in Louisiana as many of my relatives. So we struck up a quick and lasting friendship. Even though we ended up, at times, in different parts of the world and the U.S., we still stayed in close contact. She was there for my graduation from college. I was there when she suffered through her numerous miscarriages. She was truly my friend.
When my husband died, Tanya was there for me. When my baby was born 2 months later, she was there for me. Over the years Tanya wanted a baby really bad. She tried and tried and ended up having 9 miscarriages over the years. I felt so bad because here I was: 1) taking birth control to keep from having a baby and 2) getting pregnant when I totally didn't want to and wasn't ready. She knew this but still stayed by my side. She checked on me constantly, came to town to help me through my husband's funeral, even though there were very few pieces of him left. She loved me and I loved her as my sister in the military; even though my membership card had been revoked due to death.
As the years went on, our phone calls became less frequent and our letters became once a year Christmas cards. But everytime we reconnected, it was like we had never been apart or out of touch. She did not hold grudges, nor did she make me feel bad because I was a terrible friend. She understood I could not emotionally deal with her military life after mine had ended, and she still loved me!
I found out last week my sister friend died giving birth to the baby she wanted so badly over a month ago. She was 42 years old. She had been waiting over 20 years to have her baby. She had her baby but gave up her life to do so. Her husband is devestated. They had been married for 25 years. After a while, children was not as important to him as they were to Tanya. But he supported her in every way he could. He loved her enough to try to give her what she wanted. He doesn't know what to do with a newborn baby. I called him to checked on him and he just sobbed. Tanya LOVED Mardi Gras. This year is going to be especially hard on all of us because Mardi Gras was Tanya's christmas! So I am going to Louisiana this weekend to see my new niece and to see my "brother". Help him as much as his wife helped me over the years.
Tanya, I am sorry I wasn't there for you! I love you and miss you Girl! But know I am going to be there for your baby girl and she will know what a special and giving person you were!
So my mission is to reconnect to my friends and appreciate them and not take them for granted as I have in the past.
Laisser le bon temps rouleau! Happy Mardi Gras Tanya!
Saturday, January 12, 2008
An Additional C.L.I.F.
Okay I had to add one more to my list. Most people who know me, know I LOVE Somoan, Tongan, Tahitian, Fijian men. Any man in that genre is hot to me. So today I was reading about this guy and became enraptured by him....
So I am adding Junior Seau to my C.L.I.F list. He is 38 years old from San Diego, CA, but ethically he is Samoan. OMG! I want him! I think he may have just moved Tupac from the number one spot!! QUE RICO, QUE SEXY, QUE SUAVE!!!
So I am adding Junior Seau to my C.L.I.F list. He is 38 years old from San Diego, CA, but ethically he is Samoan. OMG! I want him! I think he may have just moved Tupac from the number one spot!! QUE RICO, QUE SEXY, QUE SUAVE!!!
Friday, January 11, 2008
*** C.I.L.F.****
One of my BFF's sent me a link to her friend's blog. I read the blog and was like oh man...this is a great post!! It was about the top 5 celebrities you would love to F*&%!! YOU know I had to comment and add my two cents on this one. I put my top 5 on her page, but now that I think I about it I think I need 10. 10 may not be enough, but I will try to stick to it. On her friend's blog most people added a female, if they were female. So here is my top 10 + female:
1. Tupak Shakur - Yes I know he is dead but he is still my number one. Maybe I can have him when I to heaven....or would that be hell??!! lol
2. Vin Diesel
3. Derek Jeter
4. Daddy Yankee
5. Pitbull
sorry no pic available!!
6. Ed Bradley - Yes I know he is dead too but I love a suave older man! Que SEXXYYY!! lol
7. John Abraham - Indian actor...yes I am into Bollywood
8. David Beckham - I would have an orgasm just looking at his pecs and abs...nuf said bout that!
1. Tupak Shakur - Yes I know he is dead but he is still my number one. Maybe I can have him when I to heaven....or would that be hell??!! lol
2. Vin Diesel
3. Derek Jeter
4. Daddy Yankee
5. Pitbull
sorry no pic available!!
6. Ed Bradley - Yes I know he is dead too but I love a suave older man! Que SEXXYYY!! lol
7. John Abraham - Indian actor...yes I am into Bollywood
8. David Beckham - I would have an orgasm just looking at his pecs and abs...nuf said bout that!
9. Marshall Leonard - He plays MLSoccer for the New England Revolution... Que HOT!! Oh my!! Just the thought!
and drumroll please.......
10. Stedman Graham - yes Oprah's man! He is once again one of those suave older men and he ain't dumb either...he HAS held on to Oprah for 20 + years...Need I say more?!
And my female choice is Lisa Ray...Not ghetto Lisa Raye but the Bollywood actress Lisa Ray...she is hot!
So people there's my list. I wasn't able to get a picture of Pitbull...he copyrights all his stuff...lol. I challenge you to create your own list!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Knitting Loca
I have been on a knitting frenzy for the past few months. As I said in a previous post, I have become obsessed with knitting again. I had to find a way to take the focus off of eating for me. I usually read a book, but even that wasn't helping me to stop snacking. So I took to the needles! I couldn't post the pictures of my projects because I didn't want the people I was making them for to see it. Well, I have given out the gifts and wanted to show some of the things I have made.
purple throw
purple stripped hat
moccasins with shells
Rhi's mauve hat
Mady's Hat
Baby Karla's hat
purple throw 
purple stripped hat
purple stripped scarf
moccasins with shells
Rhi's mauve hat
Mady's Hat
Baby Karla's hat
scarf with ladybugs
Blanket for Marissa's Birthday
moccasins with shells
So these are most of my projects. There are a few that I accidentally deleted the pictures from my camera.I am hoping the people I gave the gifts to will take pictures of them for me.
I have started my new projects, baby blankets and baby hats. I am going to try to tackle some baby booties. I don't know...that maybe beyond my skill level. :)
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Christmas 2007
It's Christmas again! I always dread Christmas rolling around each year but once it is here, I am happy. I become excited watching my loved ones open their gifts and looking to see what they have received. But I have to say, each year I am disappointed in the gifts I receive. I know this sounds ungrateful...but do these people even KNOW me at all?! Since when do I wear purple boots?! Did I move to Denver and not know it?! They aren't even Uggs! I mean I have known them for like 40 years, but my parents still get me crazy shit! Every year I tell my mom and dad, "gift cards are much appreciated!" But every year, they don't take my advice. Oh well, another Christmas over! Merry Christmas!
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Is it Christmas time already??!!!
Okay...is it Christmas ALREADY?! Is the year almost up already?! Where did the time go? My daughter started bugging me about putting up decorations back in the beginning of November. I was sooo not ready. So I postponed it as long as possible. I think my procrastination came from not wanting to believe that another year has gotten away from me. What have I accomplished this year? What have I done to significantly change my life this year? The end of the year has always been a time of reflection for me, but not always in a good way. I am determined to think of something positive for this year. Okay Thinking....Thinking...Thinking...okay nothing! OH WAIT!!! I bought my first house this year. Okay well I may lose it next year due to unemployment, but at least I got it.
Here are some pictures of how we decorated the house for the holidays:
Still no Christmas tree up yet but it is coming. Uggh, just the thought of pulling all the stuff out of the garage...oh well...whatever it takes to make my daughter happy. The Holiday season has become so commercial these days. I heard on the radio that Madonna and Guy Ritchie did not celebrate Christmas anymore...not just because of Kibbala, but for other reasons. But hell they are cabillionaires, so they have Christmas everyday. It is especially stressing when you don't have money. So I have taken to making gifts for my friends and family. I will post those pictures after the holidays. I don't want everyone to see what I made for them for Christmas. lol I am trying to prepare my daughter for a sparse Christmas this year. I have always been able to buy her what she wanted for Christmas, even at my poorest periods of my life. This year I am having a difficult time. I am trying to tell her, "Hey you have a nice house to live in so this is part of your Christmas!" She just looks at me like I am crazy! Yes it is my fault; I have overindulged and over compensated because she doesn't have a father. Now I am and she is suffering for my bad parenting.
Well, here is wishing everyone a Happy Holiday season!!
Here are some pictures of how we decorated the house for the holidays:
Still no Christmas tree up yet but it is coming. Uggh, just the thought of pulling all the stuff out of the garage...oh well...whatever it takes to make my daughter happy. The Holiday season has become so commercial these days. I heard on the radio that Madonna and Guy Ritchie did not celebrate Christmas anymore...not just because of Kibbala, but for other reasons. But hell they are cabillionaires, so they have Christmas everyday. It is especially stressing when you don't have money. So I have taken to making gifts for my friends and family. I will post those pictures after the holidays. I don't want everyone to see what I made for them for Christmas. lol I am trying to prepare my daughter for a sparse Christmas this year. I have always been able to buy her what she wanted for Christmas, even at my poorest periods of my life. This year I am having a difficult time. I am trying to tell her, "Hey you have a nice house to live in so this is part of your Christmas!" She just looks at me like I am crazy! Yes it is my fault; I have overindulged and over compensated because she doesn't have a father. Now I am and she is suffering for my bad parenting.
Well, here is wishing everyone a Happy Holiday season!!
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Old Navy
There was an Old Navy commercial that used to come on advertising sweaters in Sept/Oct. I fell in LOVE with the song that was playing. I looked every where for that song. Finally one night I couldn't sleep and turned on the TV to VH1. THERE IT WAS!! My song!! I finally found out who sings it and the title! So the song is called "The Way I am" by Ingrid Michaelson. I so love this song. It reminds me of love long gone, but also, of some sweet memories of that love. So enjoy my favorite song for the year!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Amazing!
I have recently turned 40. I have been rethinking my life and life choices. I hear Oprah and other touchy feely people talk about "coming into yourself" when you turn 40 or 50, whatever. I listened to that and thought yeah right...who the hell are you fooling? But I have been officially 40, 3 months and 29 days, but I think with a clarity and a calmness I never have before. Is there some truth to the BS they have been spouting.
Okay so in my moments of clarity, I have thought about all the crap I have been through in my 40 years...particularly the last 17 years. So two things I have realized: 1) Life sucks on all levels - and no I am not sad about it...it is what it is; and 2) People suck!! I thought nothing would surprise me anymore but on a daily basis something happens that brings the reality back to me. I used to think I was pessimistic, but no, in my moments of clarity, I realized it isn't always me, it is circumstances and the people involved in them.
I want to be happy and I want the people around me to be happy. Treat each other with respect. You don't have to love me or even like me, but freaking respect me as a human being on this planet. I have been vendictive, revengeful, and generally hateful in my 20s and part of my 30s, but somewhere around 33, I realized those actions were holding me back from feeling peace in my soul. Those things were hindering my growth as a human. Everyone is out for themselves, F everyone else. You are in my way and you need to move now or get run over. That is the common philosophy these days. People hurt, lie, cheat, steal from each other to get whatever they want, what is going to make them happy. But in reality, you get everything the wrong way and it makes you feel empty inside. Nothing will ever make you happy. You will always be questing for the next best thing, job, lover, whatever. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
I am usually not so pessimistic about things but in all honesty, as I go into another year, age wise and new year, I have resolved to continue to be a nice person, continue to love and respect others, and not damage the ones I don't care for, and live my life the best way I can. Oprah and Deepak you may be on to something and I am getting on board.
Okay so in my moments of clarity, I have thought about all the crap I have been through in my 40 years...particularly the last 17 years. So two things I have realized: 1) Life sucks on all levels - and no I am not sad about it...it is what it is; and 2) People suck!! I thought nothing would surprise me anymore but on a daily basis something happens that brings the reality back to me. I used to think I was pessimistic, but no, in my moments of clarity, I realized it isn't always me, it is circumstances and the people involved in them.
I want to be happy and I want the people around me to be happy. Treat each other with respect. You don't have to love me or even like me, but freaking respect me as a human being on this planet. I have been vendictive, revengeful, and generally hateful in my 20s and part of my 30s, but somewhere around 33, I realized those actions were holding me back from feeling peace in my soul. Those things were hindering my growth as a human. Everyone is out for themselves, F everyone else. You are in my way and you need to move now or get run over. That is the common philosophy these days. People hurt, lie, cheat, steal from each other to get whatever they want, what is going to make them happy. But in reality, you get everything the wrong way and it makes you feel empty inside. Nothing will ever make you happy. You will always be questing for the next best thing, job, lover, whatever. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!
I am usually not so pessimistic about things but in all honesty, as I go into another year, age wise and new year, I have resolved to continue to be a nice person, continue to love and respect others, and not damage the ones I don't care for, and live my life the best way I can. Oprah and Deepak you may be on to something and I am getting on board.
Thursday, November 08, 2007
UNEMPLOYMENT!!
Okay...I have been unemployed for the last 12 weeks. I have interviewed and interviewed and interviewed some more. I am so sick of going in and interviewing for the job and not getting it. I get phone calls from the person I have interviewed with saying, "You are great and I/We were really impressed with you but...! That is if they even bother to call me. But, why do you have to tell me that? If I was so great, why didn't you hire me? Then when I ask them can you tell me what you think I could improve on, they seem to be taken aback. "Ummm I don't know" is the typical response I get. You have to know why you didn't hire me. Was it the suit I wore, was it my personality, was it that I didn't have "it" that you were looking for? Tell me something!
I am extremely frustrated right now. All I know is I have bills and a kid and I need money! I am having sleepless nights because I am worried how I am going to pay this bill or that bill. I am just sick and fucking tired of trying! I am sick of feeling inadequate and insignificant. I am just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Can this life end already?!
I am extremely frustrated right now. All I know is I have bills and a kid and I need money! I am having sleepless nights because I am worried how I am going to pay this bill or that bill. I am just sick and fucking tired of trying! I am sick of feeling inadequate and insignificant. I am just sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Can this life end already?!
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Phoenix, AZ
I went to Phoenix on a trip. I had never really thought of Phoenix in any context before, other than it was in the desert and it was HOT. I had gone there with my grandmother to visit one of her sisters, but I was 10 the last time I went.
So I arrive in PHX and the airport sucks. It is pretty aesthetically, but the functionality of it sucks. That didn't give me any warm fuzzies. On to the rental car place. Can I say I felt like I was on a road trip? It took 20 minutes to get to the rental depot, it that is what you call it. I mean come on, could you build one closer to the actual airport. Okay still no warm and fuzzies yet. Get rental car and go to hotel. On the way there, I was amazed at the scenery. Talk about beautiful. Oh, it was serenic (is that a word) and calming. Everywhere I went beautiful landscaping and gardens...all surrounding the cactus. Cacti as tall as trees in some places. Cacti as colorful as flowers. Everywhere I went beautiful landscapes. I kept thinking of ways I could transfer some of that beautiful landscaping to my house. I realized that such beauty in the middle of a desert was amazing. Also, conserves water. I am all about going green these days, so I am going to explore putting cacti in my landscaping.
So I arrive in PHX and the airport sucks. It is pretty aesthetically, but the functionality of it sucks. That didn't give me any warm fuzzies. On to the rental car place. Can I say I felt like I was on a road trip? It took 20 minutes to get to the rental depot, it that is what you call it. I mean come on, could you build one closer to the actual airport. Okay still no warm and fuzzies yet. Get rental car and go to hotel. On the way there, I was amazed at the scenery. Talk about beautiful. Oh, it was serenic (is that a word) and calming. Everywhere I went beautiful landscaping and gardens...all surrounding the cactus. Cacti as tall as trees in some places. Cacti as colorful as flowers. Everywhere I went beautiful landscapes. I kept thinking of ways I could transfer some of that beautiful landscaping to my house. I realized that such beauty in the middle of a desert was amazing. Also, conserves water. I am all about going green these days, so I am going to explore putting cacti in my landscaping.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
New Obsession
As all of my friends know, I have been fighting the battle of the bulge for the past 16 years. Okay, I have been winning so far. I have lost 152 pounds since January 2006. I still have 45 more to go, but that is another post.
In an effort to not focus so much on my food obsession, I have taken up a new hobby. Well, rather an old hobby that I have taken up again. I started knitting when I was 12 years old. My catholic grade school made us take home economics for 3 years. You know the Nuns were trying to make us girls into the perfect homemakers!! lmao....Cooking, sewing, knitting, blah, blah!! We are talking the late 70's, early 80's people!! Anyway, I found that I enjoyed knitting a lot, despite trying to make the nuns think otherwise. I made so many hats for my parents, granparents and friends. Then I progressed to scarves and slippers. Everyone was tired of my gifts of knitting by the time I was 16. I am by NO MEANS a knitting great, but I can hold my own. I can do basic patterns... nothing that makes me think too much.
I found that knitting helps me forget my thoughts and cravings of and for food. I know I should be getting up and exercising, but knitting is more fun. I started watching this show on DIY networks called Knitty Gritty. I love this show. I can't make half the stuff they show on there, but I like to look at it. I have realized that my technique sucks, but it is hard to change old habits. In essence,I have become obsessed again with knitting! Now I actually forget to eat. My stomach is growling, but I don't want to stop. I just keep going and going. I love seeing the progress of my projects, which eventually turn into finished pieces to thrust off on my friends and family. I have started scavenging for easy knitting pattern, started a stash of yarn and I am ready to go!
I am currently working on a blanket for my best friend. She is always talking about she is cold in the winter. So, hopefully, she will wrap up in this blanket on a cold winter night, and know I made it just for her!! She loves the beach, so I tried to pick colors of the beach and the ocean. So when she is in 20 degree weather, she can pretend she is in Miami, at the beach. Here is a sample of what it looks like now. I am more than half way finished. I hope to be done in a few weeks. I said I was obsessed, not fast! LOL
In an effort to not focus so much on my food obsession, I have taken up a new hobby. Well, rather an old hobby that I have taken up again. I started knitting when I was 12 years old. My catholic grade school made us take home economics for 3 years. You know the Nuns were trying to make us girls into the perfect homemakers!! lmao....Cooking, sewing, knitting, blah, blah!! We are talking the late 70's, early 80's people!! Anyway, I found that I enjoyed knitting a lot, despite trying to make the nuns think otherwise. I made so many hats for my parents, granparents and friends. Then I progressed to scarves and slippers. Everyone was tired of my gifts of knitting by the time I was 16. I am by NO MEANS a knitting great, but I can hold my own. I can do basic patterns... nothing that makes me think too much.
I found that knitting helps me forget my thoughts and cravings of and for food. I know I should be getting up and exercising, but knitting is more fun. I started watching this show on DIY networks called Knitty Gritty. I love this show. I can't make half the stuff they show on there, but I like to look at it. I have realized that my technique sucks, but it is hard to change old habits. In essence,I have become obsessed again with knitting! Now I actually forget to eat. My stomach is growling, but I don't want to stop. I just keep going and going. I love seeing the progress of my projects, which eventually turn into finished pieces to thrust off on my friends and family. I have started scavenging for easy knitting pattern, started a stash of yarn and I am ready to go!
I am currently working on a blanket for my best friend. She is always talking about she is cold in the winter. So, hopefully, she will wrap up in this blanket on a cold winter night, and know I made it just for her!! She loves the beach, so I tried to pick colors of the beach and the ocean. So when she is in 20 degree weather, she can pretend she is in Miami, at the beach. Here is a sample of what it looks like now. I am more than half way finished. I hope to be done in a few weeks. I said I was obsessed, not fast! LOL
Halfway point
Pattern up close
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Life Lessons
How do you teach life lessons to your teenager? When they are younger, it all seems very easy to do. Don't touch because it is hot/cold. Don't pull that because you will clonk yourself on the head. Don't bother that knife/scissors because they will cut you. Come let Mami make it better when you get a boo boo. That is a piece of cake compared to the teenage years. This is what I am dealing with: Finances from first job, first love, driving, trusting the wrong people. HOW THE HELL DO YOU TEACH THAT SHIT??!!! Can someone help me on this?
Here's scenario number one: Said teenager gets 1st job. Teenager has run up a $400 cell phone bill because of text messages (gets 1000 per month, but always seems to do 2000 to 3000 per month instead). So said mami takes cell phone away and says no more cell phone until bill is paid in full. So you have to give me all your paychecks until your bill is paid off. Well, teenager has balance of $200 and has decided she doesn't want to work anymore because she is TIRED!! Ummm WTF?! Why didn't someone send me the memo that we can quit when we are TIRED!! So mami reminds teenager, no money - no cell phone. So teenager thinks mami is soooo f'ing unfair (not said in those words but I know she was f'ing thinking it!!). I also reminded teenager, no driving until she is able to pay her car insurance bill and until she can make better grades. How do you teach fiscal responsibility? How do you teach someone to have a hard work ethic?
Scenario number two: Teenager is introduced to boy by teenager's BFF (not a BFF in my eyes, but I don't count). Boy is really feeling teenager. Boy takes her out on first date (disaster, but that is another post). Boy and teenager talk on phone, via IM, and go on more dates. Teenager says, " Mami, I have found my 'soulmate'!!" Ummm WAIT!! WHAT?! Okay, Mami is trying to be cool and say, "Oh really? That is great sweetie. But make sure he treats you nice and like a lady and NO SEX!!" OPPS...Did I say that?!! So, teenager goes on family vacation and was away from boy for a WHOLE week. During the week, she texts ($400 bill was the result) boy and BFF. BFF says she and boy have been "hanging out"! Teenager is okay with that because she just KNOWS boy is HERS. So get back from family vacation. Teenager finds out by accident that Boy and BFF are now dating or as they in teenager talk "going out". Why the secrecy? Why can't you just be honest about it. You are a big ho, be the best ho you can be and be honest about your ho'ing. Dayum, I sound really old. Any who, Teenager is devestated. "How could BFF do this to me. She knew I liked him. She INTRODUCED him to me! and now she decides she wants him!" How do you explain something like that? How do you explain that BFF totally violated the unspoken best friend rule...You don't mess around with your friend's current boyfriend or ex boyfriend? Is that still a rule or am I old and things have changed? I don't think it has changed because this rule has been going on for centuries. I have never understood why someone who is supposed to be a friend would want someone else's man or ex-man...why do you want my sloppy seconds? Why do you want to be the other woman or the slut that stole someone's man or decided you wanted my ex man? There are fucking limits people. But once again...How do you teach a teenager this life lesson? Her heart is breaking and Mami can't kiss the boo boo and make it better. How do you teach someone not to trust the wrong people? You don't know until the fuck you over and betray your trust. How do you teach that not everyone is your BFF... Not everyone is your friend period. The crying is killing me inside.
These are life lessons I am trying hard to teach but I don't know how successful I am. This is a teenager we are talking about. They think they know everything about everything. Part of me just wants to say forget it and let her learn on her own. But the Mami part of me says no I can't do that...I have to take control of the situation. So where is the line? When and where do I step back and when do I step in?
Okay can I have my baby back???
Here's scenario number one: Said teenager gets 1st job. Teenager has run up a $400 cell phone bill because of text messages (gets 1000 per month, but always seems to do 2000 to 3000 per month instead). So said mami takes cell phone away and says no more cell phone until bill is paid in full. So you have to give me all your paychecks until your bill is paid off. Well, teenager has balance of $200 and has decided she doesn't want to work anymore because she is TIRED!! Ummm WTF?! Why didn't someone send me the memo that we can quit when we are TIRED!! So mami reminds teenager, no money - no cell phone. So teenager thinks mami is soooo f'ing unfair (not said in those words but I know she was f'ing thinking it!!). I also reminded teenager, no driving until she is able to pay her car insurance bill and until she can make better grades. How do you teach fiscal responsibility? How do you teach someone to have a hard work ethic?
Scenario number two: Teenager is introduced to boy by teenager's BFF (not a BFF in my eyes, but I don't count). Boy is really feeling teenager. Boy takes her out on first date (disaster, but that is another post). Boy and teenager talk on phone, via IM, and go on more dates. Teenager says, " Mami, I have found my 'soulmate'!!" Ummm WAIT!! WHAT?! Okay, Mami is trying to be cool and say, "Oh really? That is great sweetie. But make sure he treats you nice and like a lady and NO SEX!!" OPPS...Did I say that?!! So, teenager goes on family vacation and was away from boy for a WHOLE week. During the week, she texts ($400 bill was the result) boy and BFF. BFF says she and boy have been "hanging out"! Teenager is okay with that because she just KNOWS boy is HERS. So get back from family vacation. Teenager finds out by accident that Boy and BFF are now dating or as they in teenager talk "going out". Why the secrecy? Why can't you just be honest about it. You are a big ho, be the best ho you can be and be honest about your ho'ing. Dayum, I sound really old. Any who, Teenager is devestated. "How could BFF do this to me. She knew I liked him. She INTRODUCED him to me! and now she decides she wants him!" How do you explain something like that? How do you explain that BFF totally violated the unspoken best friend rule...You don't mess around with your friend's current boyfriend or ex boyfriend? Is that still a rule or am I old and things have changed? I don't think it has changed because this rule has been going on for centuries. I have never understood why someone who is supposed to be a friend would want someone else's man or ex-man...why do you want my sloppy seconds? Why do you want to be the other woman or the slut that stole someone's man or decided you wanted my ex man? There are fucking limits people. But once again...How do you teach a teenager this life lesson? Her heart is breaking and Mami can't kiss the boo boo and make it better. How do you teach someone not to trust the wrong people? You don't know until the fuck you over and betray your trust. How do you teach that not everyone is your BFF... Not everyone is your friend period. The crying is killing me inside.
These are life lessons I am trying hard to teach but I don't know how successful I am. This is a teenager we are talking about. They think they know everything about everything. Part of me just wants to say forget it and let her learn on her own. But the Mami part of me says no I can't do that...I have to take control of the situation. So where is the line? When and where do I step back and when do I step in?
Okay can I have my baby back???
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Work
Work...Who the hell created this concept of work?? Last Friday, I was fired from my job. I had this job for all of 5 months. What is wrong with me? What is wrong with the business world? Why do I have to be a cut throat bitch in order to succeed? I have been reassessing myself, my goals, and values in this profession. Human Resources should be about being a human being and being a resource for other human beings. But NO...it is about stepping all over people...being a BITCH all the time, fuck the little person, fuck the employees! It is all about BIG BUSINESS!!
And of course, all of this shit occurs AFTER I go out and buy a house. AFTER, I stick my neck out only to get it chopped off. Okay so now, I don't have a job. But I do have a house note, a car note, a teenager - who expects to be fed and clothed. I have got to rethink my life! Maybe I should just forget it and just go back to Nursing, although, it pains me to say it. I got so burned out on Nursing because I had to give so much of myself emotionally. Now, I am in a profession that is too impersonal, too uncaring. How do I find a balance?
Why do I need to work anyway? Why can't we just have a free economy, meaning get everything for FREE? I am tired of working anyway! I am tired of being nice when I don't feel like being nice, especially when other people are not being nice back. I am just tired. I am tired of trying so hard. I am tired of working for nothing or what seems like nothing.
Okay...enough...back to the classifieds
And of course, all of this shit occurs AFTER I go out and buy a house. AFTER, I stick my neck out only to get it chopped off. Okay so now, I don't have a job. But I do have a house note, a car note, a teenager - who expects to be fed and clothed. I have got to rethink my life! Maybe I should just forget it and just go back to Nursing, although, it pains me to say it. I got so burned out on Nursing because I had to give so much of myself emotionally. Now, I am in a profession that is too impersonal, too uncaring. How do I find a balance?
Why do I need to work anyway? Why can't we just have a free economy, meaning get everything for FREE? I am tired of working anyway! I am tired of being nice when I don't feel like being nice, especially when other people are not being nice back. I am just tired. I am tired of trying so hard. I am tired of working for nothing or what seems like nothing.
Okay...enough...back to the classifieds
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Music
My musical tastes have become very eclectic over the years. But I have to say I am feeling Nelly Furtado's CD. I have had it since it came out and have listened to it over and over again. I love the songs "Te Busque" and "No Hay Igual". I don't know what it is about those songs, but I LOVE them. I love the whole CD. I think Timbaland and Nelly make an awesome team. I love the song "Give it to me" from Tims CD ShockValue.
My iPod is full of different types of music, but I always seem to come back to these two CDs. If you don't have them, get them. It will be worth the money and worth the space on your iPod.
My iPod is full of different types of music, but I always seem to come back to these two CDs. If you don't have them, get them. It will be worth the money and worth the space on your iPod.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Customer Service a LOST art?!
Lately I have been getting shitty customer service every retail outlet I go to. I am not rude when I go in. I have a smile on my face. But why is it EVERYtime I go into a retail store, I get "Miss/Mister I REALLY DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" up in my face. I ask a question about a product, in my nice, calm voice, and I get "Do I look like I know everything! or I am busy right now!" Umm excuse me?! Isn't your job to help me? Did I miss the memo that says I am not supposed to ask for help when I need it??
I mean with the economy being so bad these days, you would think the workers in these stores would be more pleasant and helpful...But NOOOOO!!! They are nasty and resentful that they have to work. UMMM BE FREAKING GLAD YOU HAVE A DAMN JOB, IDIOT!!! The worst culprit stores are Sears, Staples and J C Penney. I have to add that when I go and discuss the situation with a manager, they seem just as nonchalant as their employees. AWWW so this is where they get it from. Well the exception to this was the FOINE manager at Staples. He was very apologetic about my bad service and it was genuine.
Listen people...you want my dollars, I need some good customer services. I have decided to not shop any place that my service is not up to MY standards. I can buy online or if I have to, I will pay more to go some place that treats me well.
So this is my declaration of Independence: NO MORE SHOPPING AT PLACES THAT GIVE ME BAD SERVICE!! NO MORE SPENDING MY DOLLARS AT PLACES THAT DON'T CARE THEIR EMPLOYEES SUCK!! This declaration includes Airlines, Hotels, and Restaurants. NO TIPS FOR BAD SERVICE!!
Okay I am done. Have a nice day! :)
I mean with the economy being so bad these days, you would think the workers in these stores would be more pleasant and helpful...But NOOOOO!!! They are nasty and resentful that they have to work. UMMM BE FREAKING GLAD YOU HAVE A DAMN JOB, IDIOT!!! The worst culprit stores are Sears, Staples and J C Penney. I have to add that when I go and discuss the situation with a manager, they seem just as nonchalant as their employees. AWWW so this is where they get it from. Well the exception to this was the FOINE manager at Staples. He was very apologetic about my bad service and it was genuine.
Listen people...you want my dollars, I need some good customer services. I have decided to not shop any place that my service is not up to MY standards. I can buy online or if I have to, I will pay more to go some place that treats me well.
So this is my declaration of Independence: NO MORE SHOPPING AT PLACES THAT GIVE ME BAD SERVICE!! NO MORE SPENDING MY DOLLARS AT PLACES THAT DON'T CARE THEIR EMPLOYEES SUCK!! This declaration includes Airlines, Hotels, and Restaurants. NO TIPS FOR BAD SERVICE!!
Okay I am done. Have a nice day! :)
Sunday, August 12, 2007
I'm IT!! 7 Random things about me!!!
I was supposed to do this months ago for my friend Karla, but I forgot. Okay Karla I remembered!!! Here you go:
My 7 random facts:
1. I don't like to be around tall objects, i.e., buildings, statues etc. I am basically afraid of them.
2. I wanted to be a doctor, but didn't want to go to school that long or not get sleep, so I changed to Nursing. Yes I am lazy and need my rest!! Turns out with all my degrees I have, it was the same amount of time as medical school. But I got to sleep!
3. I used to model for Ebony Fashion Fair from ages 3-7, when we lived in Chicago. I used to be in Ebony and the Chicago newspapers all the time.
4. When I was younger I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast and I wanted Bela Koroli to be my coach.
5. I curse like a sailor and I used to get my mouth washed out with soap all the time, but it never worked.
6. I wanted to be a nun when I grew up. But I discovered boys when I got to high school.
7. I like to collect cookbooks but I rarely use the recipes in them. I make up my own. lol
Okay Karla! I did it!!
Besos!!
My 7 random facts:
1. I don't like to be around tall objects, i.e., buildings, statues etc. I am basically afraid of them.
2. I wanted to be a doctor, but didn't want to go to school that long or not get sleep, so I changed to Nursing. Yes I am lazy and need my rest!! Turns out with all my degrees I have, it was the same amount of time as medical school. But I got to sleep!
3. I used to model for Ebony Fashion Fair from ages 3-7, when we lived in Chicago. I used to be in Ebony and the Chicago newspapers all the time.
4. When I was younger I wanted to be an Olympic gymnast and I wanted Bela Koroli to be my coach.
5. I curse like a sailor and I used to get my mouth washed out with soap all the time, but it never worked.
6. I wanted to be a nun when I grew up. But I discovered boys when I got to high school.
7. I like to collect cookbooks but I rarely use the recipes in them. I make up my own. lol
Okay Karla! I did it!!
Besos!!
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